if you love something, let it go
by zcnmasters
Summary: He lays his head in her lap. "Am I not good enough?" Kim nearly bursts into tears with him, because he is /better/ than good enough. He is amazing. He is one of the most incredible, kind people Kim has ever met, and- And she still loves him. Shit.


High school relationships don't last. Everyone knows that.

But that doesn't stop the hurt.

Kim's still going to beg Jack not to do this, she can't lose him, not like this. He's crying too, which doesn't help at all.

"I'll always love you. And we can pick back up where we left off. Jack, please. _Please,_ just listen to me!" She cups his face in her hands. "We survived me going to Japan. Fucking _Japan_. We can do this, we can make it work. It's only a few hours away. Jack, please-"

"Its college. Not a karate school, its college. I don't-" he pauses, runs his hands through his hair. He just cut it short for the first time since freshman year. She had teased him for it. Now she wants to take it back. "I don't trust myself. It's a different environment. I don't want to mess this up."

"So you're breaking up with me? You solution is to mess this up before you even get there?" She shakes her head in disbelief. "You know what? If you're so worried about messing this up or whatever, fine. Go have fun in San Diego."

"Kim…"

"Just go."

She walks into her house. Its nine pm, she just got home from her last date with Jack ever, they should be making out on her couch. He should be making moves, trying to convince her they can keep it down, not wake up her parents. They're supposed to giggling, cuddling, giving gentle kisses as they clean up.

She screams into a pillow.

She doesnt help him pack, which was the plan. She doesn't attend his parents send off party, and she would skip the dojo party if it wasn't Miltons party too.

She doesn't talk to him.

She regrets it everyday.

He comes home every break. During Thanksgiving break, they manage to co exist, avoiding each other for the most part, but still working out together. Kim's a sensei at Bobby Wasabi now, but after that first Thanksgiving, she takes every break off. Rudy gets it- she's cried into his shoulder enough times to know why she doesn't want to be around him.

He gets it. He stops texting her when he's in town. He spars with Jerry, who works there full time.

Kim doesn't allow herself to be hurt by it; she brought this on herself. Besides, UC Seaford is a really hard school, and she has an internship at the local news station. She's too busy to spar with her ex.

He texts her congratulations when she graduates. She says the same to him. They don't speak for six months.

He comments on her Instagram post about her new job: she's officially a field reporter for NBC Seaford. "Congrats Kim! Margaret must be mad :)"

She doesn't tell him about her fling with Margaret, or about how Margaret works for the Today show. She just says "thanks" and punches a dummy until her knuckles are swollen.

He's had a girlfriend since junior year of college. She's pretty (but not as pretty as Kim), and blonde (but not a natural blonde like Kim), and they met at a dojo (but she as only a yellow belt, not a black belt like Kim).

And now they're living together. Jack had been living in San Diego, but Kim always had this hope he'd come back to Seaford.

But an apartment with a girl- no, a woman, really- seals their fate.

Kim and Jack are through. Kim needs to let go of him.

Kim hasn't gone on a date since sophomore year. School and her internship kept her too busy, and now her job keeps her busy.

Besides, she's happy. She has a cat, she's a well paid news person, she lives on her own, she's a second degree black belt.

She doesn't need romance.

It's been a year since Jack and his girlfriend moved in.

But here he is.

In Seaford.

In Kim's dojo.

At nine o'clock at night.

Punching and kicking a dummy as if it had personally hurt him.

"Jack?"

He doesn't respond. He just throws a one-two combo and a side kick.

Theres blood on the mat. "Jack? Are you okay?"

Right hook. Spin kick. Left upper cut.

More blood. His toe looks funny. His knuckles are splitting.

"Jack, come sit down. You're hurting yourself."

More blood spatters on the mat.

"_Jack._"

He looks over his shoulder at her. His eyes are wild, dark circles ringing them like he hasn't slept in a while. He has a cut on his face. Closer inspection of the dojo reveals a broken bo staff in the corner, and a dummy with a chunk missing from it's face.

He starts to crumple. Kim rushes over, wraps him in a hug as he sobs into her shoulder. "It's okay, it's gonna be okay. Let me help you." He lets her guide him to a bench. "Stay here, I'm gonna grab a first aid kit."

He nods. She keeps an eye on him while she roots through the closet, and the only thing he does is bury his head in his hands.

Her heart aches for him. She feels phantom pains in her hands, in the scars there from when she split her knuckles. She sits next to him, gently takes one of his hands, bleeding and painful looking. She cleans it, bandages it, all in silence, nothing but Jack's shaky breathing and the fan making noise.

She breaks the silence and she starts on his other hand. "I don't think I can do anything about your toe. I think it's broken."

"It doesn't matter. Nothing- nothing matters." He shakes his head. "Go home, Kim. I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Let me take you to the emergency room."

"I'm fine, go ho-"

"If you tell me to go home one more time, I will break your nose."

He gives a humorless chuckle. "Forgot how much I missed you threatening me."

"You want me to follow through? Get in the car. I can't fix a broken toe."

She gets the story out of him in the waiting room. He cries again, blames it on the pain in his toe, not on what happened.

Which was awful.

"I gave her. Four fucking years of my life. And she cheats on me. For two of them. And then kicks _me _out when _I _walked in on them? Where does she get off?" He lays his head in her lap. "Am I not good enough?"

Kim nearly bursts into tears with him, because he is _better _than good enough. He is amazing. He is one of the most incredible, kind people Kim has ever met, and-

And she still loves him.

Shit.

"You're good enough, I promise. She's just… she's empty inside." She finger combs his hair, which has grown out since she last saw him. "I'm sorry, Jack. You deserved better."

He's lived with his parents for six months. Rudy hires him at the dojo, and he eventually moves into his own apartment.

It's Kim's apartment complex.

It's about to get a lot more complicated.

It's an accident. But she doesn't mind it. A happy accident.

Sure, it's gonna be insanely hard to cover up the hickeys tomorrow before work, and Jack is going so fast she almost screams, but Kim hasn't felt this good in ages.

And it's so easy to kick him out the next morning when he lives one floor down.

"My place next time," he mumbles between kisses.

She can't disagree with that.

They sleep together three more times before he finally asks her out.

They sleep together after that too.

He proposes on their two year anniversary. Wedding mania takes over her life.

She doesn't have many girl friends, but she does have Jerry, and Grace, and Julie, and they fight over who's going to be the maid- or in Jerry's case, man- of honor. (Jerry wins. Grace is so mad she hooks up with him.)

Her dad died a few years before. Rudy walks her down the aisle.

She cries when they say their vows.

"Jack, I really don't know how we got there. They say, if you love something let it go, and we've done that twice. I didn't think it worked twice.

But here we are.

The first time we talked, _really _talked after we broke up, you had been cheated on. You beat up a dummy so bad your knuckles were bleeding. You broke a toe. And you asked me if you were good enough.

My heart broke for you. You are… you are _better _than good enough. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Everyday I'm so, so grateful you were brought back into my life. I love you so much."

She slips the ring on his finger.

"Kim. I don't have the words to express how much you mean to me. You represent everything good in my life. You were my best friend first, and then… then I realized you're the love of my life. The six years we weren't together were the darkest years of my life. I didn't have you.

Coming back to Seaford, I didn't think you'd want anything to do with me. I was in a dark place, i was self destructive- if you hadn't walked in that night, I don't think I'd be alive right now. You're my savior. I can't believe I'm going to have you to save me for the rest of my life."

She sobs as he puts the ring on.

He dips her when they kiss.

She's a crying mess the rest of the night.

She's never going to be happier than right now.


End file.
